When Mothers Day isn't just Joyful: Holding Space for All Your Feelings
A short and simple blog for you today, the Monday after mothers day weekend -
To some, mothers day is a joyful day filled with celebration, love, hope and appreciation but to many it is also a day filled with complex emotions, history, grief and longing that can be painful or downright overwhelming. Whether you're a mother, have a mother, are estranged from one, are grieving one, or never knew one in the way you wanted to, this day can bring up a lot of emotions.
When Mother’s Day Feels Complicated
You might notice unexpected waves of emotion around this time of year or.. By now you know these feelings are coming. They can show up in forms of sadness, anger, irritability. This day can carry the impacts of loss, estrangement, complicated family relationships, unmet needs and of course cultural or societal pressure - to perform or feel a certain way. Please know that if Mothers Day brings up these feelings for you, you are not alone. Remember, you can feel appreciation and love at the same time as feeling the weight of grief, longing or sadness.
What Your Nervous System Might Be Holding
Our bodies remember. Even if you’ve worked through a lot, certain dates—like Mother’s Day—can reactivate attachment wounds, grief, or unprocessed trauma. You might find yourself bracing emotionally, feeling on edge or needing a nap. It’s okay to slow down. To feel whatever comes up. You don’t need to force celebration if it doesn’t feel right for you this year.
If You’re a Mother Yourself
Whether you’re a new mom, a single mom, a mother who’s grieving, or one navigating how to show up differently than your own parent did—this day can bring up a lot of pressure.
Maybe you feel unseen in the huge mental load that you carry.. Maybe you are mourning the idea of what you thought motherhood would look like for you..Maybe you are in the trenches of having a newborn.. Maybe you are celebrated and proud of where you are, but also exhausted. All of it belongs, there's no “right” way to feel, and you do not have to hold all of it alone.
Ways to Care for Yourself
Check in with yourself, give yourself permission to feel all the emotions, know that its ok to opt out of celebrations, to re-write your history and celebrate differently and change traditions if it no longer aligns with you, and of course, reach out for help if you need it. Check in with your therapist (hi!!), talk to a friend whom you trust, lean on supportive family members.
Your story, whatever it holds, deserves space. It deserves empathy and compassion.
Need some support? Click the button below to schedule a free consultation call with me. I specialize in helping mothers navigate the dynamics of new motherhood and a history of relational trauma.